Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Life lately

I am going to start of with the negative and work my way to the positive, ok?

Coming back after Christmas and still not having a job has had me on a bit of a downer. Some days I'll just be a total grouch. Others I feel really meh and a bit sad. You know the kind of days where you just don't want to do anything but sleep. I'm also terrible in that I hold everything in until it just explodes out of me..usually in tears.

I'm not like that all the time and a lot of it is due to the fact that jet lag sucked much worst in this direction. So I had probably 2 weeks to deal with that dragging my energy and mood down. I've also in the last two weeks had this really weird thing where I have night time anxiety about someone breaking into the house. Every frickin night I wake up and listen to every sound for at least an hour...my brain is messed up ha ha. No more watching documentaries on drugs, guns or crime!

It is getting better though. Slowly, I've been more active...training is ramping back up and I'm trying to do more around the house. All of that makes me feel better about myself and gives me more energy.

I've also finally got my act together and applied for my work authorization. I should have done it asap when I got back, as it takes 2-3 months to be processed, but it was nice not to have to pay the $380 fee in Janurary letting us have a normal month financially so we realized we are doing just fine on one salary. 
I'm excited for that to go through because if I can get some full time or even part-time work, tutoring or something, I'd be happy. I don't even care about the money (ok maybe a little, those races don't pay for themselves) but it'd be great to do something where I feel like I'm helping someone and I'd get to interact with other people on a regular basis.

One thing that may seem small and I'm gonna sound like a crazy person saying this but I'm so grateful to have Boomer. He is literally my constant companion. Nothing makes you feel better than a ball of unconditional love, one that wants to snuggle all the time.
I've also been really careful to take my B vitamins as a lack of B12 can affect mood and anxiety. I 100% notice a difference, physically at least, if I don't take them for a while. Today I also popped into a local market and found myself some vegetarian Omega 3. Woah pricey!! Vegetarian diets can be lacking in DHA (a type of Omega 3) which most people get from fish. This apparently can affect dopamine levels. It's also recommended now as a prenatal vitamin as it affects neural development. Not pregnant, just looking after myself as much as possible. 
I'm not depressed or anywhere near that just wanting to pass along a glimpse into my life right now and what I'm doing to change things a little. 
Sometimes I enjoy it when things are hard (and I just made myself laugh with that line) like a good run (mind out of the gutter people!). Other times, like this kind of stuff, Its just frustrating but one thing running has taught me is to keep going, work through it and you'll be better and stronger for it. 

3 comments:

  1. I am happy you are taking care of you and looking at the bright side! I hope you find some fulfilling work soon.

    That is totally not silly about Boomer. I feel that way about Data :)

    Enjoy your metallic green B12 pee :)

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    1. All I need to do is eat some asparagus and it'll smell and look funny. It'll be another 2-3 months before I can apply for anything but after that fingers crossed!

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